When Grunge Music Icons are Forced to Find Corporate Jobs

When their musical careers end, alternative bands from the 1990’s are forced to find office jobs to make ends meet.  The transition from angst-ridden rock star to corporate employee doesn’t always turn out well for these icons of grunge.

Supervisor: Any chance you can cover that late meeting for me today?
Radiohead: Whatever makes you happy.  Whatever you want.  You’re so very special.  I wish I was special.
Supervisor: You are special.
Radiohead: But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.  What the hell am I doing here?  I don’t belong here.

Supervisor: Before we start, I wanted to give you some free advice.  Your sarcasm is ruining the morale of the other employees.  Now, what did you want to talk to me about?
Nirvana:  Hey!  Wait!  I’ve got a new complaint.  Forever in debt to your priceless advice.

Supervisor: Last week you emailed the boss telling him you had sex with his wife.  That behavior is frowned upon.
Red Hot Chili Peppers:  I don’t ever want to feel, like I did that day.
Supervisor: Still, we must move you to our corporate office.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Take me to the place I love, take me all the way.

Supervisor: Can you work this weekend?
The Smashing Pumpkins:  The world is a vampire, sent to drain.  Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames.
Supervisor: Is that a yes?
The Smashing Pumpkins: And what do I get, for my pain?  Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game.
Supervisor: You get to keep your job.
The Smashing Pumpkins: Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

Supervisor: I’m passing you over for promotion in favor of Greg.
Soundgarden: Don’t you lock up something, that you wanted to see fly.

Supervisor: I’m going to need you to run that report for our meeting this afternoon.
Rage against the Machine: F**k you, I won’t do what you tell me. Motherf**ker!

Supervisor: I was pleasantly surprised by that power point presentation you created yesterday for our Board members.
Gin Blossoms: If you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.

Supervisor: If you don’t start getting to work on time, I’ll have to write you up.
Sublime: It all comes back to you, you’ll finally get what you deserve.
Supervisor: Is that a threat?
Sublime: Try and test that you’re bound to get served.

Supervisor: Unfortunately, we can’t give you a raise this year.
Everclear: I hate those people who love to tell you, money is the root of all that kills.
Supervisor: I’m sorry.
Everclear: They have never been poor.  They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas.

Supervisor: Thanks for meeting with me.  You wanted to chat about your performance review?
Green Day:  Do you have the time, to listen to me whine?  About nothing and everything all at once.
Supervisor: You’re doing fine.
Green Day: I am one of those, melodramatic fools.  Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.

Supervisor: I understand you have a complaint about your cubicle and workload?
Alice in Chains: I’m the man in the box.  Buried in my shit.  Won’t you come and save me?

Supervisor: Tell me how you would improve the performance of our finance division.
Stone Temple Pilots: I know you want what’s on my mind.  I know you like what’s on my mind.  I know it eats you up inside.  I know you know, you know, you know.

Supervisor: I think you need to apologize for your outburst the other day.  Talking that way to me wasn’t professional.
Lit: Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?  Didn’t mean to call you that.  I can’t remember what was said and what you threw at me.  Please tell me.

Supervisor: Based on the supervisor survey you completed last week, I understand you have an issue with my leadership style?
The Cranberries: I’m sure I’m not being rude.  But it’s just your attitude.  It’s tearing me apart.  It’s ruining every day.

Supervisor:  Thanks for the slides you provided.  They made me look good for the boss.
Third Eye Blind:  Always copping my truths.  I kind of get the feeling like I’m being used.
Supervisor: Huh?
Third Eye Blind: And now I realize you never heard, one goddamned thing I ever said.
Supervisor: How’s your day been?
Pearl Jam:  Waitin’, watchin’ the clock, it’s four o’clock, it’s got to stop.
Supervisor: With that attitude, you’re likely to get fired.
Pearl Jam: Can’t find a better man.