Dear Cloud Eight,
It’s not you, and don’t you dare go thinking for a second that it is! You aren’t the reason people ignore you to focus on that annoyingly hard to achieve Cloud right above you. There isn’t a more overrated Cloud out there than Nine.
Don’t give up. Don’t doubt yourself. You are worth it. People love you, even if they never talk about you with the revelry that you deserve.
My advice is to fly under the radar and lay off the social media rants for a little while, okay? This helps take the pressure off. Never let Cloud Nine see that it’s getting to you.
Besides, your role is more important than Cloud Nine’s anyway. Who else can provide us with a soft landing after we inevitably fall short of achieving maximum euphoria? Most of us will realize that Cloud Nine is a jerk with unrealistic expectations. And there you’ll be, to cover us morose humans in your cloudy bosom, comforting us and our broken feelings.
Give it time. We humans generally come to the realization that we aren’t as good at whatever it is we think we are good at. We’ll settle into seeking a moderate level of euphoria that we can manage, quite comfortably, for the rest of our lives.
If it sounds counter-intuitive, it’s because we are counter-intuitive. It’s part of our maddening charm.
By middle-age though, many of us realize that Cloud Nine is reserved for the euphoria of things we won’t ever feel, like actually witnessing Halley’s comet, or winning a game of Trivial Pursuit: The Genius Edition. So, we naturally begin to lower our expectations.
Whoa, that totally came out wrong. I wasn’t trying to demean you by saying that you represent the lowering of our expectations. I hope you didn’t take that the wrong way, pal.
I realize I probably really pissed you off just now. But hey, you are way higher than Cloud One – Seven. Those bastards won’t ever have a chance to garner the respect you hope to achieve one day. Humans love to stomp on the people below us and you should too! Make yourself feel better by crushing those idiot clouds underneath you. Let it out!
Anyway, you got this, Cloud Eight. I believe in you and I’ll see you tonight when I drink a relatively common IPA that tastes moderately appealing.
Sincerely,
Josh
The Author of Sarcasm 