This one dog won’t stop pooping in my yard. I don’t know which dog, but some dog and I’m beginning to take it personally. Continue reading “Canine Crappings”
Sharing a Holiday classic…
The Tools of the Trade
“You’re too tall to be Jewish,” said a generically Jewish man to me once. I laughed, until I realized he was serious.
At 6’2”, I’m not even really that tall. Certainly, there are tall Jews out there; though, come to think of it, I’ve never really seen one. Bigfoot is tall, though I doubt he is Jewish, if he even exists.
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It’s that time of year again in the District-Maryland-Virginia (DMV); when hope for a cold and snowy winter springs eternal! After taking a look at a variety of meteorological factors, including the overall amount of fallen acorns in my backyard, how hairy the caterpillars have been this fall, and the arrival time of Starbucks holiday cups, it’s time to release my 2018-2019 Mid-Atlantic Winter Outlook for Cynical Snow Lovers who have been Slighted Too Many Times by the Empty Promises of Mother Nature. If you think it was a mouthful to read, imagine having to type it. Continue reading “2018-2019 Mid-Atlantic Winter Outlook for Cynical Snow Lovers who have been Slighted Too Many Times by the Empty Promises of Mother Nature”
It’s that time of year again in the cooler parts of the country. The sun doesn’t seem as excited to rise as it did over the summer. The leaves, some of which are still holding onto their branches, seem a little worse for the wear. The morning grass is shrouded in a frosty coat. And ten-year old boys across the land insist on wearing shorts to school. Continue reading “Inappropriately Attired”
Are you sick of neighbors intruding on your idyllic backyard fall gatherings? Annoyed at these encroachers for coming over, uninvited, to critique your poor design choices and to pilfer your beer? Fear not, good citizens. New fall landscaping can help prevent these unwanted visitors from ruining your favorite season. No invading neighbors will intrude on your autumnal fire pits any longer!
*Authors Note: This piece is not in any way inspired by my actual neighbors.* Continue reading “Neighbor-Resistant Plants for your new Fall Garden”
*Rhymed to “Oh the Places You’ll Go,” Dr. Seuss
A sarcastic “congratulations.”
Today’s not the day,
That I’ll get the right mail,
As long as you have your say! Continue reading “OH THE MAIL I WON’T GET!”
Welcome to summer camp 1985, teenagers! We hope that you’ll find this experience a unique and enjoyable one. While we know you will undoubtedly miss 2018, Summer Camp 1985 offers many promising opportunities for you. Continue reading “Welcome to Summer Camp 1985!”