Out-of-Office Notifications of Famous People

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Sigmund Freud: Your desire to get in touch with me while I am away from my desk could belie a deeper issue.  Please consider giving a truer account of your motivation rather than engaging in grandiose self-deception.  If you just have a work-related question, that is fine too.  After all, sometimes an email is just an email.

Yours,

Freud

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Charles Darwin: You must first conclude that I, Charles Darwin, am out of the office.  Then, your evolved intellect should allow you to reason that contacting Vicki in accounting will lead you toward the appropriate answers you seek.  Remember, a man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.

Very Sincerely,

Ch. Darwin

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Dr. Seuss: I am out of the office, away from my desk, cannot take your call but I wish you the best.  Leave me a message, drop me a line.  You’ll receive a response, in very good time.

Sincerely, Dr. Seuss

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Kurt Cobain: Hello, hello, hello, how low…I’m not here now.  Entertain me.  I’ll respond back.  When I’m ready.

Best Regards,

Kurt

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Robert Frost: Some say this message will not be returned

Some say it will

For all I know, you will not be spurned

Just hold still

But if I had to answer it now

I think I would not know how

For I am not available to speak

But relax, good fellow, we can do so next week.

Sincerely Yours,

Robert Frost

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Bob Dylan: How many times will a co-worker inquire, before he knows that I’m gone?

Yes, and how many times will he inquire again, before he sees that he’s wrong?

– Bob Dylan

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Bob Marley: Outta the office, mon!  Leave a message and don’t worry about a thing, ’cause every little thing, gonna be all right.

– Bob Marley

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Agatha Christie: Perhaps my inability to answer should portend something mysterious, all together untoward even.  Yet, there is no malice behind it.  I am simply away from my desk. We often look for explanations that aren’t there, don’t we?  Leave a detailed message.

Yours Sincerely,

Agatha Christie

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Beatrix Potter: Leave your little message, a message of your own.

And when I shall return, I’ll ring you on your phone.

Leave your little message, in the meantime please be kind.

For when I do return, the answer you shall find.

I remain yours sincerely,

Beatrix Potter

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Arnold Schwarzenegger: I’ll be back.

-Arnie

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Charles Dickens: O, there are days in this life when one is unavailable.  Alas, I am out of the office.  Such pain in the parting, but joy in meeting again.  I wish you to know that your message will be returned.

Warm Regards, Chas.

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Abraham Lincoln: Hi, you’ve reached Abe.  Please accept my humblest apologies as I am away from my desk.  Honestly.  For inquires requiring a high level of decision-making, please consult the better angels of your nature.  After all, you cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

Yours Truly,

A. Lincoln

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William Shakespeare: Good morrow to you, sir, valorous sir!  I am hence from mine office.  But leavest thou a message, and twill be returned anon.

Yours, William

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Billy Joel: Out of office, gone to beach, therefore I am out of reach

Call Jose, he can chat, he knows stuff right off the bat

Or Louise, she’s the best, you can put her to the test

I need the break, you know it’s true, all these questions leave me blue

I be-gan to tire

I was always yawning

Each and every morning

I be-gan to tire

And I could not fight it

So I need to right it

Yours, Billy

 

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Herman Melville: Details, of a most sagacious kind, will elucidate the meaning of your interrogation toward me.  Upon my return, these details will shine a warm light of guidance on my response toward you.

Call me Herman

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Mark Twain: What drudgery of life without the benefit of escape?  Flatter me out of my senses by leaving a most elegant and detailed message.  Should I be persuaded to respond in kind, I will do so.

Very Truly Yours,

Mark  Twain

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Snoop Dogg: I be outta tha crib but leave a message n’ I’ma fo’ shizzle return it.

Peace out, Snoop Dizzle

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