When their musical careers end, alternative bands from the 1990’s are forced to find office jobs to make ends meet. The transition from angst-ridden rock star to corporate employee doesn’t always turn out well for these icons of grunge.
Supervisor: Any chance you can cover that late meeting for me today?
Radiohead: Whatever makes you happy. Whatever you want. You’re so very special. I wish I was special.
Supervisor: You are special.
Radiohead: But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.
Supervisor: Before we start, I wanted to give you some free advice. Your sarcasm is ruining the morale of the other employees. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?
Nirvana: Hey! Wait! I’ve got a new complaint. Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
Supervisor: Last week you emailed the boss telling him you had sex with his wife. That behavior is frowned upon.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: I don’t ever want to feel, like I did that day.
Supervisor: Still, we must move you to our corporate office.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Take me to the place I love, take me all the way.
Supervisor: Can you work this weekend?
The Smashing Pumpkins: The world is a vampire, sent to drain. Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames.
Supervisor: Is that a yes?
The Smashing Pumpkins: And what do I get, for my pain? Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game.
Supervisor: You get to keep your job.
The Smashing Pumpkins: Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.
Supervisor: I’m passing you over for promotion in favor of Greg.
Soundgarden: Don’t you lock up something, that you wanted to see fly.
Supervisor: I’m going to need you to run that report for our meeting this afternoon.
Rage against the Machine: F**k you, I won’t do what you tell me. Motherf**ker!
Supervisor: I was pleasantly surprised by that power point presentation you created yesterday for our Board members.
Gin Blossoms: If you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.
Supervisor: If you don’t start getting to work on time, I’ll have to write you up.
Sublime: It all comes back to you, you’ll finally get what you deserve.
Supervisor: Is that a threat?
Sublime: Try and test that you’re bound to get served.
Supervisor: Unfortunately, we can’t give you a raise this year.
Everclear: I hate those people who love to tell you, money is the root of all that kills.
Supervisor: I’m sorry.
Everclear: They have never been poor. They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas.
Supervisor: Thanks for meeting with me. You wanted to chat about your performance review?
Green Day: Do you have the time, to listen to me whine? About nothing and everything all at once.
Supervisor: You’re doing fine.
Green Day: I am one of those, melodramatic fools. Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.
Supervisor: I understand you have a complaint about your cubicle and workload?
Alice in Chains: I’m the man in the box. Buried in my shit. Won’t you come and save me?
Supervisor: Tell me how you would improve the performance of our finance division.
Stone Temple Pilots: I know you want what’s on my mind. I know you like what’s on my mind. I know it eats you up inside. I know you know, you know, you know.
Supervisor: I think you need to apologize for your outburst the other day. Talking that way to me wasn’t professional.
Lit: Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? Didn’t mean to call you that. I can’t remember what was said and what you threw at me. Please tell me.
Supervisor: Based on the supervisor survey you completed last week, I understand you have an issue with my leadership style?
The Cranberries: I’m sure I’m not being rude. But it’s just your attitude. It’s tearing me apart. It’s ruining every day.
Supervisor: Thanks for the slides you provided. They made me look good for the boss.
Third Eye Blind: Always copping my truths. I kind of get the feeling like I’m being used.
Third Eye Blind: And now I realize you never heard, one goddamned thing I ever said.
Supervisor: How’s your day been?
Pearl Jam: Waitin’, watchin’ the clock, it’s four o’clock, it’s got to stop.
Supervisor: With that attitude, you’re likely to get fired.
Pearl Jam: Can’t find a better man.
One thought on “When Grunge Music Icons are Forced to Find Corporate Jobs”
I see what you mean . . . especially when their Baby Boomer bosses probably didn’t listen to most of those bands.
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