Vengeful Weather Pattern Wreaks Havoc on Angry Citizen

Rockville, MD. – “Don’t upset Mother Nature,” is the warning Rockville resident Dan Ogletree is giving to anyone who will listen.

Ogletree, who lives with his wife and two children in the quiet suburb of Washington D.C. is urging everyone to use caution when mocking Mother Nature with relentless verbal diatribes and inappropriate hand gestures.

“It wouldn’t stop raining.  For days, it just rained, and rained.  So, out of immense frustration, I walked out to my backyard and went on an expletive-laden tirade about how terrible Mother Nature was,” Ogletree says.  “Without warning, the storm system that was departing to our north, suddenly turned around and hit us again, this time stopping over our home to inflict maximum damage.”  Ogletree, like most residents, had never seen anything like this before.  “She just poured over us with a cold and calculating indifference. Rain clouds have never seemed so angry.”

To meteorologists, this is a relatively well-known phenomenon and human beings are urged to use caution when lashing out at inconvenient weather events.

“It’s called Turn Around Rain, or TAR for short,” said a local NBC meteorologist.  “Mother Nature faces immense criticism at all times and takes an unfair amount of blame from unknowing residents.  Sensitive to this criticism, her form of retaliation isn’t always motivated by science.”  Yet, TAR, according to this forecaster, is extremely rare.  “Whatever the resident said must’ve really gotten under her clouds.”

“I mean, I can’t repeat what I said that caused the storm to turn around,” says Ogletree.  “I certainly used some expletives, but I’ve said worse to Old Man Winter after blizzards and he just laughed it off and proceeded to pound New England.”

What would cause Mother Nature to react in a way that creates property damage to a resident’s home? A scientist with the National Oceanic Atmospheric Association (NOAA), hypothesizes that TAR is the direct result of a population that no longer thinks before it speaks, and that doesn’t seem to express compassion for anyone, or anything.  She also says that global climate change could be playing a role in Mother Nature’s overreaction.  “Mother Nature isn’t causing climate change,” said the scientist.  “That’s a misnomer that the uninformed public is pushing.  She is simply a conduit of it.  TAR is a man-made problem with a man-made solution.”

Ogletree, has learned his lesson.  “I’ll tell you this,” he said.  “I’ll be a little more compassionate to the weather the next time it behaves in a way that I don’t approve of.”