An Open Letter to the Year 2119: So, Yeah, Climate Change is Probably Real and We Should’ve Tried to Prevent it

Old birds
Bird 1 (Pointing to the Sea): And over there used to be Florida                                          

 

Dear 2119,

If our calculations were correct, your weather is terrible right now. Some of us thought it might be, despite the barrage of Climate Change denial tweets from a certain American President. And while some of us are filled with regret over the plight we’ve left you, the individuals in positions of power felt it was best to let you handle it. After all, we live in a time where prevention is frivolous, unnecessary, and far less profitable than treatment. Google “Measles outbreak of 2019,” if you don’t believe us. Continue reading “An Open Letter to the Year 2119: So, Yeah, Climate Change is Probably Real and We Should’ve Tried to Prevent it”

An Open Letter from Florida

Headline: Florida Woman Shoots Boyfriend for Snoring too Loudly

IMG_5354

Dear America,

You people really need to stop blaming me for everything.  If you spent every day surrounded by water on three sides and a combination of Alabama and Georgia on top of you, you’d be pretty messed up too.  Clearly, I’m a victim of my own geographical circumstances. Continue reading “An Open Letter from Florida”