1980s Movie Quotes that are Relevant During the 2020 Global Pandemic

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“Roads?  Where we’re going, we don’t need – roads.”

     -Doc Brown (Back to the Future)

 

“I can’t breathe in this thing!”

     -Lord Dark Helmet (Spaceballs)

 

Continue reading “1980s Movie Quotes that are Relevant During the 2020 Global Pandemic”

Get Well Messages from the Solar System to Planet Earth as it Fights a Global Pandemic

Mercury

Mercury

You will get through this, Earth!  Even if it takes a full year to beat this virus, that’s only 88 days. – Mercury


 

Venus

Venus

We love you Planet Earth!  You got this!  Baby, you got this!  

Love, Your Venus…


 

Mars

Mars

Good luck, Planet Earth!  Don’t worry if you run out of water.  We ran out years ago and are mostly fine.

Cheers, Mars


 

Jupiter

Jupiter

Hey pal!  You will weather this storm.  Believe me.  I’ve been weathering one for 350 years.

-Jupiter


 

Saturn

Saturn

Oh Earth!  If you need anything – a pep talk or a shipment of hand sanitizer – just give me a ring.  Love, Saturn


 

Uranus

Uranus

You can do this, Earth.  Uranus has always been behind you.  LOL.

Sincerely, Uranus


 

Neptune

Neptune

Dearest Earth, 

I know I’ve been rather distant in the past but when this is over, let’s hang out.

Neptune


 

Pluto

Pluto

Hey Earth,

I know you only consider me a planet some of the time but I consider you a friend all of the time.

Warm Regards,

Pluto


 

No Luck in the Pot Luck; Just Cat Hair

Fun-and-Festive-Holiday-Potluck-Dishes (1)

It’s that time of year again, when your colleagues expect you to join them in the conference room for the annual holiday potluck celebration.  It is baffling, and downright disturbing, how many people actually get excited about this annual event of involuntary socialization and white lies about the tastiness of the different foods you are being forced to eat. Continue reading “No Luck in the Pot Luck; Just Cat Hair”

An Open Letter to the Year 2119: So, Yeah, Climate Change is Probably Real and We Should’ve Tried to Prevent it

Old birds
Bird 1 (Pointing to the Sea): And over there used to be Florida                                          

 

Dear 2119,

If our calculations were correct, your weather is terrible right now. Some of us thought it might be, despite the barrage of Climate Change denial tweets from a certain American President. And while some of us are filled with regret over the plight we’ve left you, the individuals in positions of power felt it was best to let you handle it. After all, we live in a time where prevention is frivolous, unnecessary, and far less profitable than treatment. Google “Measles outbreak of 2019,” if you don’t believe us. Continue reading “An Open Letter to the Year 2119: So, Yeah, Climate Change is Probably Real and We Should’ve Tried to Prevent it”

An Open Letter from Florida

Headline: Florida Woman Shoots Boyfriend for Snoring too Loudly

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Dear America,

You people really need to stop blaming me for everything.  If you spent every day surrounded by water on three sides and a combination of Alabama and Georgia on top of you, you’d be pretty messed up too.  Clearly, I’m a victim of my own geographical circumstances. Continue reading “An Open Letter from Florida”