Headline: Florida Woman Shoots Boyfriend for Snoring too Loudly
You people really need to stop blaming me for everything. If you spent every day surrounded by water on three sides and a combination of Alabama and Georgia on top of you, you’d be pretty messed up too. Clearly, I’m a victim of my own geographical circumstances. Continue reading “An Open Letter from Florida”
“You’re too tall to be Jewish,” said a generically Jewish man to me once. I laughed, until I realized he was serious.
At 6’2”, I’m not even really that tall. Certainly, there are tall Jews out there; though, come to think of it, I’ve never really seen one. Bigfoot is tall, though I doubt he is Jewish, if he even exists.
It’s that time of year again in the cooler parts of the country. The sun doesn’t seem as excited to rise as it did over the summer. The leaves, some of which are still holding onto their branches, seem a little worse for the wear. The morning grass is shrouded in a frosty coat. And ten-year old boys across the land insist on wearing shorts to school. Continue reading “Inappropriately Attired”
Are you sick of neighbors intruding on your idyllic backyard fall gatherings? Annoyed at these encroachers for coming over, uninvited, to critique your poor design choices and to pilfer your beer? Fear not, good citizens. New fall landscaping can help prevent these unwanted visitors from ruining your favorite season. No invading neighbors will intrude on your autumnal fire pits any longer!