In the 1980s, when you got a letter indicating you’d won something, you didn’t ask questions. You pursued that to the end, and in most cases, to the bitter end. This was serious business. So, in 1986, when my parents received such a letter, it was time to pile into our station wagon and drive to a place called Front Royal, Virginia. Continue reading “Front Royal”
A couple of guys are replacing my roof today. From a literal sense, they are walking all over me, but we got a good deal, so I’m letting it go.
“Free Fallin’” just came on the radio, which I hope isn’t a harbinger of things to come, mostly for them, but also for me. Anyway, I think they are insured. I should probably ask, just in case. Continue reading “The Condescending Roofers”
I may technically be a man, but I’ve had some shady dealings with some effeminate things lately. Fir-scented candles being one. Actually, it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to enjoy a fir-scented candle. What isn’t acceptable is harassing the owner of the local boutique shop who gets them in every fall, by inundating her with daily emails asking if they’ve arrived. Continue reading “Manless-ness”
Running with people is the worst form of socialization there is. Let’s get one thing straight, right away. What I do isn’t even considered running. It’s more like stumbling forward while internally sobbing; my heart begging my legs to cease and desist. Continue reading “Running-ish”
Technically, you can drop the bass—and the bass. You can literally drop the bass, but that could cause injury to your foot, so it’s recommended that you only drop the bass in the musical sense, if you are talented enough to do that. Dropping a bass doesn’t require any talent. In fact, I did it once while out on a fishing boat with family and friends. It was highly embarrassing, but the darn thing was extremely slippery. Continue reading “The Homonym Wars”
The other day, at a three-way intersection, my car approached the stop sign at the same time as someone headed in the opposite direction. The other driver motioned for me to proceed, and I motioned for him to do the same. He smiled and firmly waved his hand. I did the same. Slightly amused and slightly annoyed at the standoff, I rolled down my window and yelled, “After you!” He acknowledged and headed down the road toward the rest of his life. Continue reading “Stopped”
It was never a relationship that was going to last. There were too many factors involved. Genetics, for one, probably played the biggest role. Irresponsible decisions I made in my youth had something to do with it, too. Eventually, the decisions you make do have a way of catching up to you. Continue reading “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow”