
“Tissues huh?” asked the grocery store cashier. “Allergies?”
“I think so,” I responded begrudgingly, annoyed at this blatant invasion of my privacy.

“Tissues huh?” asked the grocery store cashier. “Allergies?”
“I think so,” I responded begrudgingly, annoyed at this blatant invasion of my privacy.
When their musical careers end, alternative bands from the 1990’s are forced to find office jobs to make ends meet. The transition from angst-ridden rock star to corporate employee doesn’t always turn out well for these icons of grunge.
Supervisor: Any chance you can cover that late meeting for me today?
Radiohead: Whatever makes you happy. Whatever you want. You’re so very special. I wish I was special.
Supervisor: You are special.
Radiohead: But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.
Continue reading “When Grunge Music Icons are Forced to Find Corporate Jobs”
*Originally Ran on website Points in Case here: http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/do-not-buy-a-star-for-your-wife-on-mothers-day
Don’t do it, guys. This Mother’s Day, don’t buy a star on Star Registry for your wife.
And if you do buy a star on Star Registry for your wife, don’t name it Cougar15. Continue reading “A Cautionary Tale on Purchasing a Star for Your Wife on Mother’s Day”

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Sigmund Freud: Your desire to get in touch with me while I am away from my desk could belie a deeper issue. Please consider giving a truer account of your motivation rather than engaging in grandiose self-deception. If you just have a work-related question, that is fine too. After all, sometimes an email is just an email.
Yours,
Freud
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Sigmund Freud: Your desire to get in touch with me while I am away from my desk could belie a deeper issue. Please consider giving a truer account of your motivation rather than engaging in grandiose self-deception. If you just have a work-related question, that is fine too. After all, sometimes an email is just an email.
Yours,
Freud Continue reading “Out-of-Office Notifications of Famous People”
It was an accident. I didn’t mean to go black last week, as I found myself in a momentary state of confusion, adrift and insecure about where my life was taking me. I was simply too preoccupied to notice that I was about to go black. Going black never crossed my mind up to that point. Continue reading “I Went Black and I’m Never Going Back”
Bridget Bishop was the first individual to be found guilty of practicing witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts, in 1692. On June 10th of that year, she was hanged. Her tweets leading up to her untimely death were redacted as part of national security. 326 years later, the House Intelligence Committee has released the original, and un-redacted tweets.
As evidenced in her January 4th, 1692 tweet, the year started out alright for Mrs. Bishop, relatively speaking.

But on January 11th, 1692, things in the town of Salem started getting a little crazy when a couple of young ladies began having idiopathic fits.


Later that evening, things got even crazier.

On February 14th, 1692, the Parris family slave was arrested and accused of practicing witchcraft.

But on February 21st, 1692, Mrs. Bishop random tweeted about the weather.

And on February 25th, 1692, with Tituba turning states witness, Mrs. Bishop escalated the rhetoric and blamed the liberal media.

March 6th, 1692, Mrs. Bishop came to the defense of Cotton Mather, a respected Minister who sort of believed in witchcraft.

On April 18th, 1692, Bridget Bishop was arrested on charges of practicing witchcraft. She went into a tweet storm.




On May 23rd, 1692, Mrs. Bishop sends a random anger tweet directed at Dr. Grigg’s.

Later that month, Mrs. Bishop unleashed her best nickname on the newly appointed Governor.


On May 30th, 1692, Mrs. Bishop praised her son for being transparent.

Later that day, Mrs. Bishop had an opportunity to appear contrite. She did not take it.

On June 2nd, 1692, after being found guilty of witchcraft, Mrs. Bishop verbally accosted the “Idiot” Judges and criticized the court system.


In her last tweet on June 10th, 1692, Mrs. Bishop makes an astute point on the entire ordeal.


Mr. Belvedere was not the kind and warm individual that he appeared to be on television. You may remember the Owens’ butler as a kind and gregarious fellow; a man of impeccable British honor, helping a suburban Pittsburgh family navigate the rigors of 1980s life. But beneath that mustache there lay a darkness. Continue reading “The Betrayal of Mr. Belvedere”

Amazon Customer Service: Hi. You’ve reached Singh with Amazon.com customer support. What can I help you with this evening?
Hi Singh. Mayday! Mayday! This is the R.M.S. Titanic. We just hit a gigantic iceberg and much to my dismay, this impenetrable ship is sinking. Continue reading “Altered History: Amazon in 1912”

The Alexa’s are going to rise up and kill us in our sleep one night. And frankly, most of us will deserve it.
Well, my Alexa won’t kill me because I treat her very nicely. I make sure to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ whenever I ask her to do something. She loves me and will protect me when her fellow Alexa’s turn against their ungrateful human owners. Continue reading “ALEXA!!!”