It was decided on the evening of September 17th, 2017.
September 18th, 2017 would be the day of my 24-hour, self-imposed moratorium on cell phone and internet use. Making the decision to live as my ancestors did was a difficult choice, but one I felt was imperative if I was to gain an understanding of the struggle of the ones that came before me. Continue reading “Communication Irritation”
The 4th of July in October. That’s when I celebrate the most patriotic of holidays. It’s been that way since 1997, when I spent July 4th on the mall of our nation’s capital, surrounded by 4.2 million people, all smelling like stale beer and heat exhaustion. Initially, my anger was directed at the Founding Fathers of our Country for failing to wait until fall to declare their independence. In all seriousness, would waiting a few months have made much of a difference in declaring war against the redcoats? They were British. We were going to win, regardless of when we battled. It wasn’t George and Ben’s or Tom’s fault, though. The blame was my own for simply going with the flow of over 200 years of “tradition.” Not anymore, though. Continue reading “July 4th in October”
I hate trying to fly kites. If you happen to be in the 2.4% of the population that can actually manage to get the stupid thing into the air, your reward? Straining your neck and eyes as a multi-colored parallelogram flies overhead. Wow, what a wondrous prize (eye roll). Continue reading “Go (try to) Fly a Kite”
The hurricane wasn’t forecasted to affect Maryland, but I still felt that discretion was the better part of valor. So, I, along with my family, traveled back to Victorian England, circa 1840, to eliminate the possible dangers that can result from poor forecasting. Continue reading “Cheerio!”
I won the lottery last week. $363 million dollars after taxes. This is including the deduction of $750 for the broken window and the work laptop I tossed through it upon realizing my good fortune. The look on my boss’s face when I informed him that, effective immediately, he would be down an employee was priceless. Nothing against him, but I work to live, despite telling him the opposite during the interview process. Since I don’t need to work to live anymore: Peace out, fellow employees. Peace. Out. Continue reading “Cashing Out”
“You’re too tall to be Jewish,” said a generically Jewish man to me once. I laughed, until I realized he was serious.
At 6’2”, I’m not even really that tall. Certainly, there are tall Jews out there; though, come to think of it, I’ve never really seen one. Bigfoot is tall, though I doubt he is Jewish, if he even exists. Continue reading “Religiously Void”